Ponytail day

It happened yesterday – my first ponytail! I rocked it all day – farmers market, pool, and dinner. It is pretty little with LOTS of curl and it is all mine.

Getting more tired but that is what is suppose to happen on this chemo so no surprise. I meet with my surgeon tomorrow. Thinking I might sport my ponytail to show him as well.

Today is just a nice relaxing day which I am thankful for.

More great news

Two new great things happened today. First I HAD to use a hairbrush – not just because it felt good or just wanting to brush my hair. I got out of the shower and my hair was tangled! Small victory for me. I may even be able to get a ponytail going soon. Watch out.

Second great news I want to share – I was leaving work and got a call from my oncologists office. I was nervous because I knew they would be calling with my results from my blood work on Monday before chemo. I was worried because I had reduced chemo in June, an extra week in between treatments, and didn’t always eat the best while I was on my road trip.

So when I got the call I took a deep breath and asked her what my number was. At first she said it was 12 – which is great it means it is unchanged and all is good but no she then said “oh wait that is last months number, your CA 125 now is 9.” I was so excited after I had her repeat it at least 3 times I told her I love her (not sure who “her” is, was too nervous/excited to get the name). So that is my second piece of good news today – my new number is 9.

Hope you all are having a great day as well. Love you!

Fun thoughts on chemo day

I have been bitten at least 2 dozen times tonight by Mosquitos. I just keep on smiling – they don’t know why they are getting themselves into.

Another good thing for this evening – I swam 4 laps. Took me 20 minutes and it was pretty slow but I did it. Take that chemo!

Today is a good day for chemo

The sun is out but you can still smell the wet grass from yesterday when I left this morning.

I have given blood and seen my doctor. She gave me great news and my CA 125 is now 12. AWESOME!!! I’m still doing chemo – doing it now but that is great news.

So Rudy met me here since mom is out if town. He thinks my foot rest is made for 2 people – hello it is my foot rest.

Well I am getting sleepy – we got in last night at midnight. Pretty tired but glad for the great news and wanted to share. Enjoy the beautiful day!

Ok I am ready

I am READY. I am sooo ready. I am ready to start feeling better.

I have learned my lesson. I thought because I didn’t have symptoms right away I was going to be okay and not have any. I was over confident. I thought I was superwoman (well I still think I am superwoman).

I am still grateful not to have the body pain I had before, that was hard. This time my symptoms are different. Besides the itchiness (which is getting better) my mouth is sensitive and full of soars. It is hard to eat and have had to have a lot of liquid meals the last few days. Things I never thought would hurt do – grapes, avocados, and potatoes in soup are new things I found today. It hurts to talk. Hurts when I am not talking. I have done salt water, special mouth washes, brush with a soft toothbrush, and mouth numbing medicine – all a couple times a day. Any other ideas out there let me know.

Good news is it keeps me from eating things I shouldn’t be eating. There is a silver lining AND I should be getting better now – yesterday was my last low day. So I embrace today as the end of it and tomorrow I will start the climb to getting better. Yes I am ready! Next time I will be better prepared. I learned my lesson.

Thank you all that have lent me a hand or gave me some support and encouragement. I am lucky to have all of you. Today I was lucky – my mom listened to me vent and cry it out then went to the store and got me soup, multiple juices, and green tea. Always there when I need her. Also lucky to have Nketia and Kellcee who got me things in the quest to help find things I may be able to eat. Going to work today I know I am lucky to have them all there. Such great support, I love my NCAI family. I am going to be fine and more enjoyable tomorrow.

Yep tomorrow will be a better day. I hope you have a great day. Xoxo

Still itchy!

It is driving me crazy. I am so itchy. Taking some stuff for it now but it is not going away. I am just not healing myself very quickly right now.

Had a good week overall and excited for tonight’s fireworks. It is Cheverly Day! First off to our farmers market.

Enjoy your weekend!
Xoxo

Tap Dance Day!

Here is a picture of my tap performance today that my mom took from the audience. It was a packed theater and my first performance since high school. Rudy, the boys, mom and Chris came to watch. I had tons of fun!

I am the second from the left.

Taking it easy = tap dancing

Last night I was having shortness of breath. I know I am hypersensitive to symptoms so I was trying to relax and not worry about it. After about an hour and a half when it didn’t go away Rudy convinced me to call my doctor to see what she wanted me to do. I was calling of course at 5:30 on a Friday evening so she was off. The oncologist on-call told me I needed to go to the emergency room to get checked out. Well that didn’t sound like fun but I knew that if I stayed home I would just worry.

I called a friend to take the boys so they didn’t have to worry. Packed some magazines and our phone chargers, Rudy and I were prepared to be waiting for a while. We were mistaken. Have I mentioned lately how much I like my hospital. I got to the emergency counter and they take me back right away to triage. I am sure the others sitting in the waiting room waiting were wondering while I got the first class treatment. In triage I was again seen right away, got my vitals taken and a few minutes later I was wheeled to my own private room. As soon as I had the gown on (wrong way at first) and we got the tv on, the doctor and nurse Better came to see me. He talked to me, ordered some initial tests and said we will go from there. Within minutes I was having an EKG done while staying in my room and in the bed. Next they came and took some blood, she told me it would take about an hour to get the results. Finally, I was taken just down the hall for a chest x-ray. We got back to the room, I called my sister and just got her on the phone when the doctor came back to say I was all good. EKG, blood, and X-rays were all good. He said I was overdoing it and that my body is just not as healthy yet as I think it is, I got tired. He said I needed to rest this weekend.

“What about my tap performance!” I asked him. “Can I still dance?” He smiled and said that I could but other than that I should take it easy. Then Betty came back in and talked to us for a while because we became friends quickly. She said we were free to go. An hour and a half after getting to the hospital we were walking out 🙂 That is some great service.

I called my friend Jill to let her know we were coming back to Cheverly but she insisted on keeping the boys so we could rest. Very nice. So after sleeping in today I was feeling much better and ready to DANCE!

Yep, today was my first performance since high school. I have been doing a tap class as a way to keep moving and I just enjoy it. I have missed dancing and am having a lot of fun doing it. I am not as good as I was but I am still learning. In my class I am the youngest dancer. This has been my first semester with them and was pretty nervous about today. There was one dance that we all just learned and got it down pretty good, it is nice but not too hard. The second dance folks in the class have been doing for a couple of years. I have done it only for the last 3 classes, well and then today. I really like the dance, just wish I knew it better. I figured I would just go out there smile and do my best. Then I found out we were the second group to go on stage. I wanted more time. But then decided it was better to just get it over. BUT THEN the first group to go on were these kids about 13 years of age. Oh my goodness. They rock. It was 3 girls and 2 boys I think. They were amazing! Of course I didn’t want to follow them but we did. We did the dance, I messed up a little in the middle, and the audience cheered us on the whole way. If was tons of fun! Then we did the second dance that I knew we could do. But man some of those other dancers were some of the most amazing tap dancers I have ever seen. For $5 to get in the audience (which was packed) got a great show.

So know I am back home with my flowers up on my fire-place from my family. Rudy, the boys, mom, and Chris all came to the show. I had a fan club. I think I was the only one that got flowers. It was such a great day and I am so glad that they came to support me. I think my past dance friends would be proud of me and of course our dance teacher, Janice Holst.

I still can’t stop smiling. Have a great weekend! xoxo Jamie

Love is in the air!

Today is Valentine’s Day and we are feeling the love! Who is this you are asking? Why have you been silent for so long?

First I have to say I am sorry that I haven’t been keeping everyone more updated. I remember when I was first diagnosed that I saw a post on an online forum for Ovarian Cancer – there was a question of why weren’t more survivors commenting on the site, was it because they were not out there? A response came back from one survivor that said “we are out there and we are just busy living our lives right now.” She said she was just on by chance and wanted to let others know there was hope out there. That is kind of what I have been doing. As my energy started coming back I started leaving the house more and doing more. Working in the office more full-time, taking kids to soccer practice and games, going on road trips with the family, and just doing what I can. I have moments where I stop and think – oh I should add that to my blog but then when I get home I am too tired (since I still don’t have all of my energy back yet). So I am not ignoring you but just using my energy the best way I can. As I get more energy back I have even started to branch out a little more – In January I started a yoga class and a tap class both one day a week. I have also started to walk more to help improve my energy and strength.

My hair is also coming back – it is curly like they said it would be and two weeks ago I felt it on my forehead for the first time. Which of course means I have bangs! I have even had to use a brush on it a few times. I do have to say it has given me some challenges because I have never had curly hair before so I don’t know what to do with it. I kind of let it do its own thing – so each day is interesting up there. I remember a couple of weeks ago I had bed head – the boys got a kick out of that. I will post some pictures of what we have been doing and of my new hair do next.

So why today did I decide that I should give an update? Well today I got back some good news. My tests and scans have been going well and I was in remission which was great. On Friday I got some not so good news. When I got it I thought it was the worst news but now moving on as I find out more. On Friday I found out that my blood results showed my CA-125 number had increased (which is a marker that they check for Ovarian Cancer). If it is a small increase it is not a big deal but mine had jumped from 7 to 26 in a month. Which is a significant jump. When I found out the nurse letting me know couldn’t tell me more (she was giving me the results because I called in to get the results). She paged the doctor to call me and I had to wait. Luckily my doctor called me back that night within an hour, she said she was going to call me on Monday with the results because she didn’t want me to worry over the weekend. She was sorry but we will do a scan as soon as we can and go from there. She did on that same call, because I asked, tell me that it meant that I was not in the group to be cured (which I only had a 20-25% chance) but she had a lot of tricks up her sleeve and we will work to keep me around as long as we can.

Of course I was stuck on the part of not being cured. I know friends who had similar diagnosis and remember them telling me it is okay if it can’t be cured. As long as they can keep it contained and/or reduced you can be on the treatments for a long time. I had to really work to shift my mentality to that. Ovarian Cancer as I am learning is one of those cancers that they say you can look at it like a chronic disease. You can live for a while on the treatments and who knows what they will discover along the way while I am waiting.

Mom, Chatham, and Rudy were great this weekend! Mom came over on Saturday and in her usual way kept us busy which helped keep us from our immediate thoughts. She helped us update the boys bedrooms into rooms they could actually use and put their things away. Chatham came over on Sunday to move some heavy furniture and finish building some of the new stuff. Rudy was a trooper helping to build, move things, and even go to Ikea with Mom for 3 hours while we looked at every piece of bedroom furniture – some of it multiple times until we made a decision. All the time letting me know he loves me. Poor Brandon was exhausted and in tears by the end but he does love his new room, did I mention we pulled up his carpet also out of his room. Yep,he know has hard wood floors. It was a very busy weekend.

So back to the next steps – on Monday we set up a scan for Wednesday to get a better idea of what was going on. I was so lucky to have some of my Cheverly girls go with me yesterday to get the scan. They helped keep my mind occupied and not thinking of all of the what ifs. So we went, did my scan, and then had coffee to make it a fun event and not a downer event. Today even more of us went back down to Annapolis to meet with the doctor and see what the results showed. The scan was clean!! I was so confused at first because I was thinking I would have to start chemo right away, I was worried about having to tell the boys, and every time I looked at them these past few days I had to hold back tears. I have been working these last few days to get everything in order for me to start chemo – Rudy took Tebo for a vet check up, Brandon went to the eye doctor, whatever we could do to get prepared since last time I didn’t have that luxury. Now I have some time.

What does that mean? Well the doctor said that it is still there – but it is so small that they can’t see it on the scans. So we are going to wait. We are going to watch it closely. I will get some more blood work done in 3 1/2 weeks and see her in 4 weeks. If I have any symptoms before then for more than a week then I should call her and we will get me checked out. I did ask her that if I was still in remission then since she couldn’t see it and she said no I am not. But that is okay. I am getting over that. I would rather have the situation I am in then having to jump in with treatment again. I am okay with this and feel very blessed. This is probably the best news I could get after Friday and I am lucky to get it.

At this point we have decided not to tell the boys. No need to worry them with something that is so small and we are not going to do anything but watch it. They don’t need to worry about that. We will wait until it gets to the point where treatment is needed. And hoping that is not for a while.

I love you all – thank you for your continued strength, love, prayers, and good thoughts. We really appreciate it and can really feel the love today.

I will try to keep you more updated since now I will be going back in again monthly but if you don’t hear from me know you know why – I am outside kicking the ball with the boys, at work which I really do love my job, having some family time watching a good movie, or just taking the advantage of this wonderful and amazing life I have with all of those that I get so enjoy it with.

Happy Valentines Day – I love you all!

 

We did it!!!

We did the walk! It was great to see so many people doing the walk/run. We were blessed with a beautiful fall day. The sun is out and just enough crispness in the air to keep you energized.

My team rocked! After a late night last night they were there ready to go. Too bad they were not all fully dressed for the walk. Chris was rocking his golf shoes and mom had on flip flops due to some confusion rushing out. That made for a great laugh while we were waiting to get started.

In the beginning they had all of the survivors get on stage and it was hard not to be emotional being around all of those amazing women. Met some cool survivors. What motivation.

Next year we decided we are going to run. That’s right, you heard it here. TeamJamie is going to run the event next year so start getting ready so you can join us.

Thanks to all of you who have been supporting me and to those that donated to my walk today. I really appreciate it. xoxo Jamie